Max is starting to show his loving and kind side towards his brother. But that doesn’t mean he’s throwing away his jealousy just yet.
I’ve spied him laying on the bed next to Zac, just watching him. I’ve witnessed him try to shush his brother by patting his bottom and shh-ing. I’ve seen many kisses and cuddles.
Buuuuuut I’ve also seen him smack him on the head. Put sheets over his face. Pinch his feet…
He loves him, I can tell. But I think he just wants him to go away sometimes. Especially when he’s upset, because that’s when I need to give Zac all of my attention.
Max will be an angel all day, listening, using his words, playing nicely. But as soon as Zac hits his fussy period (around 4-6pm), Max starts to act up. He knows that when baby is crying, my attention will be on the baby, and not him.
I feel sorry for the poor guy. He doesn’t understand really. I don’t like going mad at him for doing things purely to get my attention, but in the moment I often find myself yelling and getting frustrated with him.
He does these attention seeking things, like threatening to break Zac’s swing, hitting the tv, hitting his brother, climbing the bench. And he does them while he knows I’m watching. He WANTS me to see. He WANTS me to put Zac down and go mad at him. And it is so hard to ignore these things, I can’t let him do them.
I’m running out of ways to deal with the situation. I’ve found that the most effective thing is time out. But it is damn near impossible to enforce when I have a breastfeeding baby that does not want me to put him down while he’s in the middle of his 4023940398429th cluster feed.
I need to keep reminding myself of the saying, “This too, shall pass” because it will. And when it does, I’ll look back at these photos and miss my beautiful little babies. When they’re 9 and 11 and don’t want my cuddles all day long. When it’s not cool for Mum to throw them in the air and give him raspberry kisses all over their bellies.
It will pass. They will grow. I will grow.
I need to cherish every single moment.